Why I Broke Off My Engagement to a White Man: Decolonizing My Desire, One Hard Truth at a Time

There’s only one time I’m against interracial dating—and that’s when you can’t bring your full self into the relationship. I was engaged to a white man for 8 years, and I didn’t challenge his anti-Blackness. I internalized it.

I woke up one day and realized I was living in his shadow. And I told Laverne: ‘I’ve already unpacked what you’re just starting to unpack. And it was embarrassing.’

Decolonizing my desire changed everything. It’s not about hate—it’s about liberation. I want to be loved out loud. I want a partner who’s fighting for my community too.